well, i think it goes like this...
she was on once, 16 1/2 years ago. after that, he's asked her to be on hundreds of times, but she always turned him down.
allegedly it was because she didn't like all the fat Oprah jokes. (but Jay Leno does the same kind of jokes, & she never held it against him) anyhoo, she said there was
never a feud... so who knows?

the play "The Color Purple" which she bankrolled, was opening for the first time right across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater, where Dave does his show, so i would imagine that had a lot to do with thawing the ice between them. also, when Dave's son Harry was born, she sent him a huge basket full of books as a gift. she said when he became a Dad it softened him a bit. she said she noticed a 'sweetness' that wasn't there before.

anyhoo, it was basically a lovefest all around.